Switched off my phone for 2days, woke up in the early morn, logged in msn, didn't expect boy to be online. Once i logged in he msn me, talk lot ab my exams and my dad, everyone around me knew very well that my relationship between my dad and me is simply like an beautiful book cover with nothing but blank pages inside, i will nvr forgive how he treat us in the past. In my heart, there's only my mum, bro and friends, he stands nothing in it. So even if u tells him that i didn't attend for my exams, worst to worst i just don''t get a single cent from him. I didn't blame u for telling him all thats happen, i knew u care but sorry, no matter what he said to me, i will not have any feeling to it and i won't listen to whatever shit from him. Yes, i admit i will cry and feels sad whenever i talk ab him, but all my tears is about the hates i had from him. U asked me how about you? why i didn't listen to what u say and how am i going to explain about this, all i can answer u is, i always listen to what u says no matter its right or wrong, u should know the best, i said i will go for my next exam mean i will. And do u know my sch fees is about 9hundred plus, i don't want u to waste that money on me, time is tight, i know i will disappoint u. Please keep the money, worst to worst i just don't get the cert cause i know this isn't that important to me anymore and all i need is u. I always need u to reminds me and tells me what im going to do next is not becuz im not mature enough to think, it is becuz i dun wish to think. You will nvr understand how i feel, all this months loneliness hold me too tight and im tired of thinking what to do next. I can say, u are the only one who gave me that motivation in everything i do after another failed relationship. U appeared, led me towards my future and started to make me think for myself. Remembering u asking me to look into the mirror and asked myself if all i said and think is an gd excuse giving up my own future, yes u are right im only finding excuses to give up . :)Thanks my dear for waking me up once again, though sometimes i felt hurt and stress when i had to face u and friends and ppl around thinks that u are not that someone worth for my everything but in my heart i knew it. Ppl might say that im blinded they can oso say that i'm silly but i just want to be one. Its okay about yst's dinner, i know ur hp is dead and i've ate it super full with ur brothers and they accompanied me the whole night till i fells asleep. And i've brought u the perfume, u said u will use wad i brought for u want horr and u better use it!!! Meet up tonight maybe??
27.10.09
Cant wake up for exams today, boring, chicky boy called me and scold until...... my god, now i got forbid for exams man, stress. . He complained to mum that i nvr go for exams oso shaggg. . okok boy i promise next exams i sure will go okay, maths and science i really gave up, nothing in my mind now . . blank blank like that i really dun noe how to face the exams damn STRESS!!!!! WAD AM I GOING TO DO?? What else can i do to make u feel that i care, to make u feel happy and enough. . dun wish to quarrel with u and im compromising everything i can for u. . I felt so hurt sometimes. . I promise i won always go nana or go drink okay, dun bring that up again. . sorry . . god bless us please. . :(
Switched off my phone for 2days, woke up in the early morn, logged in msn, didn't expect boy to be online. Once i logged in he msn me, talk lot ab my exams and my dad, everyone around me knew very well that my relationship between my dad and me is simply like an beautiful book cover with nothing but blank pages inside, i will nvr forgive how he treat us in the past. In my heart, there's only my mum, bro and friends, he stands nothing in it. So even if u tells him that i didn't attend for my exams, worst to worst i just don''t get a single cent from him. I didn't blame u for telling him all thats happen, i knew u care but sorry, no matter what he said to me, i will not have any feeling to it and i won't listen to whatever shit from him. Yes, i admit i will cry and feels sad whenever i talk ab him, but all my tears is about the hates i had from him. U asked me how about you? why i didn't listen to what u say and how am i going to explain about this, all i can answer u is, i always listen to what u says no matter its right or wrong, u should know the best, i said i will go for my next exam mean i will. And do u know my sch fees is about 9hundred plus, i don't want u to waste that money on me, time is tight, i know i will disappoint u. Please keep the money, worst to worst i just don't get the cert cause i know this isn't that important to me anymore and all i need is u. I always need u to reminds me and tells me what im going to do next is not becuz im not mature enough to think, it is becuz i dun wish to think. You will nvr understand how i feel, all this months loneliness hold me too tight and im tired of thinking what to do next. I can say, u are the only one who gave me that motivation in everything i do after another failed relationship. U appeared, led me towards my future and started to make me think for myself. Remembering u asking me to look into the mirror and asked myself if all i said and think is an gd excuse giving up my own future, yes u are right im only finding excuses to give up . :)Thanks my dear for waking me up once again, though sometimes i felt hurt and stress when i had to face u and friends and ppl around thinks that u are not that someone worth for my everything but in my heart i knew it. Ppl might say that im blinded they can oso say that i'm silly but i just want to be one. Its okay about yst's dinner, i know ur hp is dead and i've ate it super full with ur brothers and they accompanied me the whole night till i fells asleep. And i've brought u the perfume, u said u will use wad i brought for u want horr and u better use it!!! Meet up tonight maybe??
27.10.09
Cant wake up for exams today, boring, chicky boy called me and scold until...... my god, now i got forbid for exams man, stress. . He complained to mum that i nvr go for exams oso shaggg. . okok boy i promise next exams i sure will go okay, maths and science i really gave up, nothing in my mind now . . blank blank like that i really dun noe how to face the exams damn STRESS!!!!! WAD AM I GOING TO DO?? What else can i do to make u feel that i care, to make u feel happy and enough. . dun wish to quarrel with u and im compromising everything i can for u. . I felt so hurt sometimes. . I promise i won always go nana or go drink okay, dun bring that up again. . sorry . . god bless us please. . :(
